(en)gender

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 07:41:04 GMT

As I make my way back from Baltimore, I thought I should announce a new pet project I’ve been working on for the past couple of weeks, and that’s to start a group blog about trans issues, with a bunch of different bloggers coming from various segments of the trans community blogging. And so far, it’s working! Right now, the (working) list of bloggers (in alphabetical order) is:

Marti Abernathey
me
Jennifer Finney Boylan
Betty
Marlena Dahlstrom
Jamison Green
Richard Juang
Julia Serano
Max Wolf Valerio
& Reid Vanderbergh

But there are invitations out to others who I hope will sign on & participate. It’s called Trans Group Blog and you can find it at http://transgroupblog.blogspot.com/. Do come check it out.

It's also already been set up here at LJ: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/transgroupblog/profile)

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 06:25:21 GMT

The trans support group episode of All My Children will air Thursday, March 8th & Friday, March 9th. You can find out what channel it’s on and when on the AMC website.

Betty will be on with six others, including Jennifer Finney Boylan.

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 05:56:03 GMT

Well, tomorrow is finally the big day: our episode of the Dr. Keith show airs tomorrow, 2/22. You can find out when it’s on near you by checking the website.

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 05:10:44 GMT

9th Preview of She’s Not the Man I Married

Well, we’re almost there, folks: the official pub date is just two weeks away, and I know many of you are already reading or have already read She’s Not the Man, but for those who aren’t, this is the last preview I’ll be putting up. It’s from my Preface:

This book is a sequel to My Husband Betty, at least in that our story and my reasons for thinking about gender take up where it left off. Mostly it is a love story, our love story, which, like any other, is not typical. It is the story of how a tomboy fell in love with a sissy, how a butch found her femme, how a boyish girl met a girlish boy. Who is who is not always clear and doesn’t always matter. In some ways, that’s the heart of this book: the idea that a relationship is a place where people can and do and maybe even ought to become as ungendered as they can. It comes from my very specific dislike of Martian men and Venusian women and the adversarial ideas about relationships that permeate our culture. While I am not interested in a genderless world, I am curious about the ways that gender can be manipulated in a romance, the ways it can be controlled instead of controlling our roles.

Us on The Dr. Keith Ablow Show

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 18:38:51 GMT

I got the news today that the episode of the Dr. Keith Ablow show we taped back in December will air on Thursday, February 22nd. You can find when the show airs in your area by checking the Dr. Keith website: http://drkeith.warnerbros.com/showinfo/whenitson.html.

Books

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 21:53:38 GMT

While I was at a client’s today, Betty got to receive a very large, heavy box full of the new book. This is the first I’ve gotten to see it, so it’s very exciting. It’s a sturdy book, and there’s an artsy typesetting effect that I really love.

Those who have ordered signed copies should get them by the end of the week (unless you live in, say, Australia).

& Just to say: it is something to hold your first book in your hands. It is something else altogether to hold your second.

Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble online seem to have them, too, as the pre-order page is down and the "usually ships in 2-3 days" message is up. Exciting.

8th Preview from She's Not the Man I Married

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 05:18:49 GMT

Excerpt from Betty’s Afterword:

I walked into a meeting with Helen recently and someone we both know said, “Betty, I didn’t recognize you. I thought you were a woman,” when she first saw me. She was looking for “Betty” and all she saw was “some woman” with Helen, instead. She meant I didn’t look trans and that made what I see in the mirror more real. It was a backhanded compliment, of course, but the nut of it really struck me. More and more, I really do look like a woman.

Jeebus, does Helen know this?

Yes, she does.

It’s odd, this life of ours, and I’m terribly aware of my culpability in said oddness. It is our life, though, and there is no one on the face of this earth that I’d rather be with than Helen. She really is the girl I always wanted to meet. And wouldn’t you know it? I met her . . . and she liked me back. And we got married. And I feel like a lottery winner. I’m amazed that she feels even remotely the same about me—the guy who looks like a woman a lot these days. But she does.

NYC Nobody Passes reading

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 22:51:15 GMT

I contributed to a book by Mattilda called Nobody Passes, and I will be doing a reading with other contributors here in New York, on March 21st, at the bookstore Bluestockings.

(Other upcoming readings for Nobody Passes below the break.)
other Nobody Passes upcoming readings:

Wednesday, January 24 @ 7:30 p.m.
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia (@ 20th)
San Francisco, CA 94110
www.moderntimesbookstore.com
(415) 282-9246
with Sandy Chang, Logan Gutierrez-Mock, Amy Andre, Jen Cross, Dominika Bednarska, Tommi Avicolli Mecca and Eric Stanley

Friday, February 9 @ 7:30 p.m.
Skylight Books
1818 N. Vermont Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 660-1175
with Jessica Hoffmann, Ruth Blandon, Irina Contreras, Stephanie Abraham, Benjamin Shepard, Jen Cross and Jennifer Blowdryer

Thursday, March 8 @ 7:30 p.m.
Women & Children First Bookstore
5233 N. Clark Street
Chicago, IL 60640
773-769-9299
wcfbooks@aol.com
www.womenandchildrenfirst.com

Act NOW

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 22:30:19 GMT

Health and Human Services is considering appointing Eric Keroack, a doctor who is not just anti-choice but anti-contraception, to be in charge of the US' birth control funding. Basically, he's an "abstinence only" type - which is, as most of us know, the worst form of birth control around. You can get more information about him from NOW's site.

NOW has a petition up that you can (and should) sign, and is also asking people to write directly to their reps to get them to keep him from this appointment.

Lunatics running the asylum. This is like us appointing someone hostile to the UN to represent the US... oh, wait, we did that one already.

Leslie Feinberg on SNTMIM

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:16:48 GMT

As if what people have said wasn't enough to make me delirious already, Leslie Feinberg read She's Not the Man I Married, and said:

"Between the covers of this book, you'll hear how love sounds when it's so honest it bleeds. Trans liberation is more certain to "win" because Helen Boyd's on the team." -- Leslie Feinberg

Thank you, Leslie. I hope zie's right.

Confirmed Events

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 22:21:22 GMT

I will have the extreme pleasure and honor of introducing Leslie Feinberg at the State Museum of New York in Albany, this coming February 3rd.

Betty and I will also be attending IFGE 2007, in Philly, where I'll be presenting both my Trans Sex & Identity workshop (on Friday) and doing an additional workshop on She's Not the Man I Married (on Saturday).

& That is in addition to my being the keynote speaker for First Event this year and doing an erotic memoir reading for Rachel Kramer Bussel here in NYC.
More to come, no doubt!

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 21:04:23 GMT

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, when we honor our dead.

Talk to your friends who are trans; make sure they're safe and have safe habits. Exchang phone numbers, walk people to their cars in groups, travel together late at night.

Donate money to some of the people who are helping.

And be thankful, in the spirit of the season, for everything you've got. Life included. Celebrate who you are and work for a time when we can stop having this Day altogether.

Grey's Anatomy (of a Wife)

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 06:24:07 GMT

Last week, our downstairs friend who is a huge Grey's Anatomy fan, called us at the very start of the show, telling us only "there's a plot line you'll want to see." So we watched as a trans woman character came to the hospital for her GRS surgery, and were quite surprised - as were, no doubt, lots of viewers - that her wife had accompanied her there.

(You can read more about the episode, and even view it online, at the Grey's Anatomy website. Spoilers below, so go watch it first.)

That fact of it alone was a great education for a lot of people, making the clear point that plenty of trans women prefer females, thank you very much.

While some of the informaton on the show was a little off - like when they implied that if she went on hormones her beard would come back, completely eliminating the likeliness of laser hair removal or electrolysis - it was absolutely an empathetic portrayal. The monogues by the wife were especially accurate, that odd combination of gallows humor and anger and sadness and sympathy that so many trans partners express about transition.

Most accurate, I thought, was a key moment when the trans woman is being told the hormones she's taking to be a woman are giving her breast cancer & she doesn't want to give them up, and the wife - frustrated & scared - uses her partners male name to tell her to "Wake up!" and flees the room after she does. Not much later, she talked about going on dates only to find that she wanted to talk to her "best friend" about those dates - like you do - and finding her husband, male or female, was her best friend. Which is how she ended up holding her hand for surgery.

It's that "best friend" bit that's most problematic to me. Betty is my best friend, has been since the minute we met. She's also my teacher, my role model, my mentor, my child. All of them. And all of those things could and would stay in tact post transition. But it's that other role - lover, husband, monogamous pervert - that's the problem. Desire is desire, and it's very hard to predict what might make it go away.

I talk about this at length in the new book of course - of course! - but I did want to thank the writers of Grey's Anatomy for doing an excellent job portraying the feelings of het partners of trans women.

Feel free to come discuss the episode further on our boards.

Helen Boyd in Indiana & Texas

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 04:36:48 GMT

I'll be speaking on October 27th at Purdue University in Hammond, IN, from 1-3 PM. More details are here. Do come if you're anywhere nearby; it's not often I end up in this neck of the woods and the event is open to the public.

I'll also be speaking on November 1st at Austin College in Sherman, TX (near Dallas), from 4:30-6PM. If you're anywhere near there definitely come, because I'm very, very, very rarely in Texas. I don't have all the details for this one yet but I'll post them when I do.

End of the Century

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 03:13:36 GMT

Or more like the end of an era. Today CBGB closes its doors. Thanks, Hilly, for all those years of punk rock, for influencing 30+ years of music, for great unannounced gigs, hardcore Sundays and stacked chairs.

Sometimes it's almost seems like all signs are telling me it's time to leave NYC; it's not my city anymore, at least not the one I fell in love with, anyway.

< -- & Yes, that's me & Betty (she's in the tux & I'm in the gown - nutty, right?) on our wedding day. & Yes, those are DMs I'm wearing: Johnny Joey DeeDee, good times, indeed.

I think Richard Hell got at some of it in this Op-Ed for The New York Times, in which he said,

"We all know that nothing lasts. But at least we can make a cool and funny exhibit of it. I’m serious. God likes change and a joke. God loves CBGB’s."
But you know, we tend to come to regret when we don’t step in and save a well-loved institution or two, and I thought we’d learned that by now in NYC. But alas, apparently not, but I think we will come to regret this loss, to be honest.

National Coming Out Day!

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 20:21:11 GMT

Hope you're all having a wonderful National Coming Out Day!

Happy Birthday, Ed Wood!

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 20:47:28 GMT

Today is Ed Wood's birthday. I think that makes it National Crossdressing Day, no?

Or National B-Movie Day?

Or National Angora Sweater Day?

You pick. Have fun. Get yourself ready for tomorrow, which is National Coming Out Day.

me @ columbia u.

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 07:43:18 GMT

Just a reminder that I’ll be speaking at Columbia U. on Monday, October 9, 7:00pm - 8:30pm, in the Sulzberger Parlor Room, Barnard College. It’s open to the public.

Here are directions to Barnard’s campus (which is right across the street from Columbia):
http://www.barnard.edu/visitors/directions.html

Here is a map of campus that shows where the Sulzberger building is located:
http://www.barnard.edu/visitors/map2006.pdf

Click the 9th on QUAM’s October calendar for the full description.

Fifth Annual Blogger BoobieThon

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 00:46:22 GMT

They've raised over $26,000 for Breast Cancer Awareness, so for this year's Breast Cancer Month, I'm in!

My mother survived breast cancer, & I bet she can think of about a gazillion other ways she'd prefer to have me help raise money. I can hear her already, "You could have just walked or something."

But no. I think using breasts to raise money for the health of breasts makes way too much sense - so go! Make a donation! Guess which ones are mine!!

Trans Partners drop-in group

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 05:54:13 GMT

I will be co-moderating the GIP’s Trans Partner’s Drop-In group this fall, and I’m really pleased to be getting to do this kind of work, since I’ve been talking about doing a partners’ group anyway.

Here are the details:

When: Wednesdays - Beginning October 4

Time: 7:30-9:00 pm

Where: The Center, 208 West 13th Street, New York, New York 10011
(212) 620-7310, www.gaycenter.org

What: Trans-Partners/Trans-Amorous Drop-in is a 10-week group for people of all genders to discuss and explore their attractions to and relationships with trans-identified or gender non-conforming individuals. The group is open to people currently in partnerships with trans-people, people formerly in partnerships with trans-people, and people who are exploring their attraction to trans-people.

How: Registration is not required. There is a $5 suggested donation, but no one will be turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Kate B.

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 19:38:38 GMT

Wow, Kate Bornstein liked it, too!

"This is the first public voice of a new identity in the world, whose story includes and goes far beyond boy meets girl, boy meets boy, and girl meets girl. How stunning is that! The author's courageous vulnerability makes her tale accessible, moving, and pee-in-your-pants funny. She pulls no punches, and she's blessedly kind-spirited; which encouraged me, thrilled me, and scared the hell out of me."

-- Kate Bornstein, author of Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws

first blurb

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 04:14:07 GMT

The very first blurb for my book is in, written by the talented Jennifer Finney Boylan:

"Like a tightrope walker, Helen Boyd performs several amazing feats simultaneously in her impressive book, She's Not the Man I Married. She provides a postmodern reflection on transness; she writes a feminist critique of gender and culture. Above all, she gives her readers a sense of the deep love she shares with her husband Betty, a love we see in all its complex, messy wonder. Through its author's honest, lucid prose, She's Not the Man I Married is brilliant, unsettling, and sweet."

(Thank you, Jenny!)

Two New Books Reviewed

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 21:13:23 GMT

I added two new book reviews to this site today, both about books I read this summer and was providing blurbs for. Neither are out yet, but they both have links on amazon.com now, so I thought I'd add them to my list of gender/trans books.

S. Bear Bergman's Butch Is A Noun thread.

Virginia Erhardt's Head Over Heels thread.

I've also put them in our Reader's Chair Forum so that those who want to discuss them can do so (obviously, that might take a while, but I'll try to remember to bump both threads when they do actually come out).

NYC pride events

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:05:06 GMT

first off, the NYC pride march has its first trans grand marshall this year, one pauline park (of course).

the brooklyn pride parade is on june 11th.

the nyc dyke march is 6/25.

(i've never posted here before but didn't see these events listed, so forgive me if i've muffed something)